Phone Message

(January 25, 1993)

Hello,

    This is [XXX-XXXX]

Complaints have been registered

    by both friend & foe,

Saying my "Happy Holiday"

    message had to go.

I'm not a bad sport

    and I won't hold a grudge

I took the message off, but

    on this point I won't budge.

My new message will rhyme

    and I'm happy to report,

I will under no circumstances

    be short.

So hold on to your hat

    and curl up with your phone

Remember leave a non-singing message

    right after the tone.

We may not be home, or

    we're just monitoring your call.

So speak up clearly & leave a

    message once and for all.

Remember this experience

    both foes and friends

And never complain

    about my singing messages again.

If you're still listening to this

    you didn't remember the trick

To go straight to the machine,

    you have to push the asterisk.

Now that I've had my share

    of fun, leave a message quick,

All of this talking and rhyming

    is making even me sick.